I shall be optimistic.

Why is every little problem surfacing at this point of time?
This is a part of life.
I will take it as my learning journey.

I cannot take the "fake-fake" attitude anymore.
Stop acting nice to me because I don't want you to.
Stop thinking you are all high and mighty that we have to abide to whatever you say.
You are not the only busy person. We too are busy.
If you think its easy then you can do it yourself.
Don't beat around the bush and pretend to be nice.
If you are unhappy with anything we did, say it straight to our face.

John please please study. I need you to stay on. Otherwise, it would be equivalent to me dying.

The past two weeks are very tiring.
I seem to have a list of things that are undone.
Talking about things undone.
Sorry Jefferson for not helping out much with the relabeling of stands.
Sorry to land you into that deep mess.
We will get it done soon! Don't stress!

I have to study hard. It is like only two plus months to end of year exam.
I need to have constant revision.
Like my sister said "you'll have to balance your time more"
My studies are getting from like bad to worse.

• Social Studies Test - FAILED TERRIBLY! Two upon twelve. How smart of me aye?
  

• A. Math Test - I'm very happy with my results this time round! GREAT improvement. I hope I won't be like a rollar coaster going up and down up and down.
  

• Physics Test - It will be a miracle if I passed this test. I did study but I forgot all the formulas. I can't apply the formula = wrong answer = no marks = fail badly.
  

• Chemistry Test - I hope my answers are correct. (: Sure thing is that my A1 flew away!
  

• Chinese Composition Test - It is the first time I ever wrote such a long compo, I hope I could score good grades.
  

I want my new section tee to be HOT PINK with collar.
Exception for Grace - Fake collars. hahahahahhahaha!

Off to read my book to improve my English. :D

P.S. I will be strong.

LOVE TAGS REPLIES :D

J - Act gangster ah!?
Qin - Love you ttmx :D
Sharon - hello!
Fayyad - hahaha. Yeap yeap.
Grace - Me love you too!
Wei Jun - Green is nice. I will try to.
Zailiyah - Alrighties.


Who says the last child would be the most pampered child? DFP.

Life had not been going on pretty smoothly for me.
I wish it will turn back to normal real soon.

I don't understand why we have to be so realistic.
Yes, it is good to know what the world is like.
But don't you think it is far too early for this over excess of exposure?
Look around, who are facing the same problem besides us?

• I hate you.
• I miss it.
• I want to be recover from horrible pains.

When will anybody be genuine ?

3S2 is enjoying their time now. Except during Chemistry lesson.
I really hope that Mrs Wan will hurry come back and teach us before I give up hope on Math.
I don't get what the lame Mr Ng is trying to teach.
All he knows is about two and a half etc, and his Martin, Kin Chong and Bryant jokes.
HELLO. A teacher is even bullying Bryant. wow wow.
I think I've slacked the entire week through.
No more poker. No to SIP.

• I need an A MATH tutor. Pearlyn Peh are you interested in joining me?
• I'm scared of Chemistry.
• My interest to do Physics homework is growing! YAY! Like finally?
• And I'm so innocent to become a SS rep. HAHA! Miss Lee is so cute.

I think I lack of sleep! My dark eye rings are getting darker.
I'm starting to have eye bags too. D:
I have an entire week to pack my room! Not enough timeeeeeeee D:
Caught Ice Age 3 with my sister.
It was not as good as the first two. It is funny but quite boring at some parts.
I like to go out with my sisters (:
Especially my second sis because she don't talk to me about church. HAH!

• I want to paint my room pink.
• I want to go prawning again. Though its cruel.
  
• I want to eat another happy meal and get seid and scrat. Of course, to make myself happy!
  
• I don't want to have any stress.
• Stupid yet funny videos make me laugh.
  

Thanks Grace, Fayyad, Qian Ling, Yee Hui and J for trying to cheer me up.
Also to the others who tried to make me laugh(:
Glad to be able to talk to my seniors and know that they are always there for me! :D
Grace Anna! I will help you to _____! :D No regrets yea.
Fayyad! Thanks for making me laugh yea.
I seriously miss my seniors. I miss laughing genuinely with them.

I'm not going to bother.
I'm not going to care.
Do whatever that pleases you people.

LOVE TAGS REPLIES :D

Janice - Thanks (:
Hui - You won't get to order me around. hahaha. Damn it.
Pei Wen - I updated toooo!
Hui - I've died on it alrd.
Qin - Thanks sweetie! You are always there for me, silent one(:
Fayyad - Thanks for cheering me up! And the plan still goes on even if I'm the only one who agrees. I'll have it perfect!
Qian Ling - Those are words of anger. I didn't mean to say them! Hear it from Grace k. You also nvr reply my messages! Love you luh sister!
Grace - I thought your phone was confisicated. Life is very tough. :D He mei mao! I will survive! I hope.hahahah


How I wish it was before 1 July now.

Everything changed drastically ever since 1 July.
Do you know how much impact this caused us?
No one is to be blamed, yes I know that.
I wonder how many generations of friendships you have destroyed.
Your decision is biased.
You know who has the potential but you simply refused to judge based on skills but your favourtism.
To hell she goes, I'm not transparent.
Stop contradicting yourself. Say what you mean please.
Cause I don't know which to listen.
Right, I shall listen and be obedient. "For peace sake, wait till you graduated then rebel"

Part of our boat had sunk.
Our boat is split into two.
I'm in the middle now. Slowly walking towards the other side.
I cannot stand the childishness, the insults all those crap I've been tolerating since 7 months ago. I not know why the heck this is happening. Probably its because of me being oversensitive or petty. Or maybe I am too mature I can't fit in. Everything is so fake. I can't pretend any further. Pretending to be happy, to be ok with the insults. I seriously can't. If I had ever insult any one of you. I'm sorry and I will stop. I will never insult anyone again because it so fucking hurt. Be sensitive to the people around you. So be it if you don't give a damn about it. Cause it will only make me hate you more and more. I know you wouldn't mind cause you wouldn't care. You are way too selfish. Oh and if you think that punching is so goddamn cool and you love it so much. Go learn thai boxing or something. Stop showing off that you have a big fist and punch everything you see. It is fucking annoying. I sometimes wish you can vanish into thin air.
I don't know why you are part of it in the first place.

I suppose I have given up trying to do my best.
I suppose I have given up trying to be a happy-go-lucky person.
I wish I was like it, to have those thoughts and guts.
Btw, you call the shots, you are the big fuck, so go on and decide what to do. Don't even ask for my opinion.

I wonder why am I feeling this way when nobody cares?
I miss those times when I talk to Grace Anna.
Where are you? I have lots to tell. I think I am facing whatever you are facing last time.
To hell keeping band matters out of personal time.


When will I be more efficient?

I realised I am a very blessed girl with so many people who love me surrounding me.
If one day I were to lose all of them, I probably wouldn't live on too.

My heart is in a mess. I feel like ripping my heart apart. Seriously. D:
I'm sorry if I ever hurt anybody in my life. Really very very sorry.

Please please please don't feel dejected. I hope that our friendship won't drift any further away.
I miss it. Do you even know how important it is?

I don't have the motivation to study.
Mrs Wan is away, I don't understand Math.
Mr Tang is away, I want him to drill in the concepts into my brain by repeating them over and over again.
I need a break from Chemistry and really really hopes his pace is slightly slower.
Its not that I want to be rude and rebel in class but seriously it is getting on my nerves having to rush everything and not remembering a single thing after all the work done.
At least my love for Chemistry hasn't died yet.

Another no band week because of the H1N1.
My parents finally found the contractor to renovate my house.
I want a pink room! :D
YEEHUI! 我很烦啊!
Does poker helps to distress? hahahaha!
I like guys who plays the piano or violin super well. They are especially cute.
I think this summed up my entire week.

I WANT TO STAY AWAKE IN ALL LESSONS.
I am so going to sleep at 10pm or earlier every single day.

ADI GET WELL SOOOOON!

LOVE TAGS REPLIES :D

A - hello!
Hui - Order your ass. Don't you dare order me around!
Qin - hahaha. SAD! I cut and paste your face beside the guy you sitting with ok? HAHAHA!


An "oh my gosh" week.

Its the end of the first week of semester three.
I have the sudden urge and motivation to study (to the extent of doing Chinese and Physics homework).
I hope this motivation will not die off any sooner.
Mrs Wan is absent for the whole entire week and we are having two free periods everyday.
HOWEVER, Mr Ramesh took over like three periods?
Causing me to have no time to complete my work.
After taking over the three periods, we are still supposed to have remedial.
How awesome can this get?

Thanks to H1N1, we didn't get to have a proper passing over ceremony. D:
Whatever the no-close-contact rule.
The atmosphere everything was so not right! The good thing was it saved our tears.
The new committee is out.
Yee Hui! Everybody either calls you maam/salute you/dm you when you walk pass. Submit to fate girl (:
Well, I am shocked for myself. HAHAHA!
I'm v v v v scared that my section will fall. But I'll not let it happen though.
There is John anyway. :D "I don't want timpani part!"
Those letters that Nadiah and Qian Ling wrote nearly moved me to tears. Super duper touched.
We shall have a section outing after you guys are done with 'O' levels! COME OK!
Oh! And also, thanks to H1N1, there is no band for a week!
Thank God I don't have to start work a week earlier :D

I had a heart-to-heart talk session with my sister yesterday.
I love it when we go out together to shop. I hate it when I'm in church with her though.
I'm super happy cause I finally bought my mp3. The pink is out of stock though D:
We ate at some Japanese restaurant. Many funny and embarrassing incidents happened.

I was super shag today because I only had six hours of sleep. Overly excited thats why.
Mr Ramesh spoilt my morning.
The periods after recess were much better.
I must be awake in lessons! I need the energyyyyyyyyyy!
Yee Hui came to my house and we played toccata on my piano.
It was super fun but it is very difficult though. Can't wait to learn that song!
Watched drag me to hell with A. Thanks for the movie. hahaha.
I was hiding behind my jacket throughout the entire show. HAHA!
I storyline was good but the movie is way to disgusting.
The stupid vomit, worm, cat, FLY, old woman/witch. YUCK!
Crap crap. I had fun though (:

Memories!
LOVE TAGS REPLIES :D

John - Whatever. I love bumble bee! hahaha! You and your green.
Qian Yi - hahaha. I not important to you alrd mahhhhhhhh..
Shin Ying - I bet we will!
Hui - I v the sad ah!
Fayyad - HAHA! Okay.. You just make me pai seh. Drinking is bad for health mah!
Hui - Just submit to fate! AHHAHAHAHA! Oh-so-poor-thing.
Qin - You also SL! hahahaha! I will :D
Nadiah - I know you wanted to cry on that day. I will miss you too! D: love ya!
Cindy - hello!
Teddy bear - Yes.


Time to let go.

Time to say goodbye to my dearest most awesome seniors.

FAYYAD AH BANG!
My first ever ah bang, thanks for taking great care of me.
All those sunshine moments and laugh-out-loud sessions will always be part of my memory.
I will miss your oh-so-crappy jokes.
I will miss you entertaining our section.
I will miss you dancing like a monkey around.
I will miss your ever so blasting drum set. Imagine how the band will never have such a good drum set player. OMG!
I will miss you trying to make me smile whenever Mr Tan made me cry.
I will miss practically everything of you.
AND! Sorry for my sucky attitude at times. Forgive me k. I know you will. heh!
Please do take care of your health. Stop drinking :D
Your lil sis will always be here if you need me!

GRACE ANNA! HE MEI MAO!
My all time can-talk-to-buddy.
After you've graduated, there is nobody to talk to me like those times during cloudburst.
*Sigh*
There is no one to teach me mallets anymore.
There will be no super funny laughter to make us laugh anymore.
No more people to bully *no offense!
No more ham and cheese breakfast prepared by you.
Oh my~ It seems like another "Jing Yi" will be gone soon.
I will miss people trying to wipe away my tears and hugging me like a bear when i cry.
I will cut down on my vulgarities ok. Actually I already cut down by a lot eh?
Sorry for all those stupid misunderstandings ok.
And I know you guys dote me the most! :D
Remember we said " Esther is in Singapore, John is in Malaysia etc "
Don't forget me uh! Miss you!

NADIAH GOLDFISH!
Hello always neutral and stuck in the middle kid!
Shining forehead.
I will miss you lame-ness seriously!
When the section is quiet, you never failed to liven it up with your lame jokes and send us into a fit of laughter.
Okay. I will miss people fretting with me when we don't know our parts well.
I will miss people not standing beside me when I'm too scared to play.
Sigh. Now cannot be scared already D:
I still remember you were the one whom I stick to during secondary one days.
Oh! I still remember you owe us a-hand-made burger each huh!
Where is it?!
I will miss you ttmx!
Love you sexy!


TONG QIAN LING! MA TONG!
My "twin" sister. *awwwwwww* I finally said this eh?
Number one:
When you ever join another CCA please don't go around asking people if you can hit their butt.
Number two:
I know you have very big boobs ok!
hahahahaha. My oh-so-perverted senior!
Thanks for teaching me and believing in me k.
I will always remember " I can do it so can you" this sentence.
You are there to make me laugh real hard when I'm sad.
You always so cheerful.
You brought to us joy and showed us love.
I will miss you a lot.
Nobody to be my twin sister already.
Nobody ever so willing to be helpful.
Now I say, I love youuu. (w/o having being forced)

TO MY DEARESTS,
I will always remember the different times when we are scared, happy, sad and bored together.
I will remember every single competition and concert we've gone through together.
and those whack butt moments.
Study hard and score well for your 'O' level!
COME BACK AND HELP US WHEN YOU'RE FREE. I NEED YOU PEOPLE.
I'm too attached to you guys.
Esther loves you!

John and I will bring the section to greater heights together.
NO worries, we will NOT become a couple. hahahaha! You guys can stop dreaming about it.
Percussion!! Please cooperate with John and I ok! LOVE YOU PEOPLE!

John! We will support you!
Yee Hui, our ever first female drum major. Super proud of you k! You can do it! hahaha!

I feel like crying when I type this. I can't think. Those are my heartfelt words and I have too much things to say. And most of them are indescribable.

I love my awesome seniors.